


One Happy Family

by daggersandribbons



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Domestic Fluff, Family Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Older Man/Younger Man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-19 01:17:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17591981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daggersandribbons/pseuds/daggersandribbons
Summary: Oswald Cobblepot never dreamed that he’d have a family like this.





	One Happy Family

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my_chemical_romanoff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_chemical_romanoff/gifts).



Normally people started their families in their early twenties, but Oswald and Ed were anything but normal. Oswald, a man pushing sixty years of age, had never really considered having a family of his own; that was until he met Edward Nygma. Edward Nygma was freshly thirty years old, but he had known Oswald for a few years prior. Their relationship had started as an online sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship. Oswald would wire money to Ed’s account, not for sexual acts but for things like joining him for dinners and just for spending time with him. They instantly connected, their love growing strong. One dinner a week turned to Ed moving in, holding hands turned to nightly sex. They were in love and happy. 

“You didn’t have to buy these for me Papa bird, you truly spoil me.” Ed hummed as he held the box of brand new designer shoes. He had only mentioned them once when they were strolling through the Gotham shopping district. 

“You know I’d give you the moon and the stars, my love.” Oswald grinned. Ed kissed his partner, wrapping his arms around his soft waist. 

“So what’s on the agenda today? I have some packages to pick up at the post office, but I’m free to accompany you if you want me to.” Ed stated. 

“I would love that, I have to head to the orphanage today and tie up some loose ends. Should be only paperwork, perhaps we can grab an early dinner.” Oswald replied. 

The orphanage was one of Oswald’s least favorite places to have to step foot into. It was all a bunch of sniffling kids that saw him as a meal ticket. Though he had been there many times, they still gave him a tour each time hoping he would adopt. This time they split Ed and Oswald up, Ed heading with an old friend from Gotham University to catch up, and Oswald to the nursery.

“It’s rare we have such a young child, but the mother begged us to take him. She was young and couldn’t support him.” A young woman explained as she lifted the baby out of the crib. He was so small, Oswald wasn’t sure he had seen a human so tiny. The woman noticed his interest. She passed him the baby boy, and Oswald held him in his arms. A lock of Oswald’s greying mane fell from its ribbon prison, and the baby reached towards it. The man watched in awe as the infant batted at the hair like a kitten with string. He didn’t even hear Ed step in, who was now standing beside him smiling at the sight. 

“I’ve never seen you smile like this,” Ed murmured. Oswald couldn’t hide his joy, but to adopt a baby without thinking it through would be out of sorts for him. So he handed the baby back to the orphanage worker, and the two left the orphanage to a local Italian restaurant nearby. 

“Papa-“ Ed rested his hand on Oswald’s.  
“-it’s obvious you shared a connection with that infant. I saw the look in your eyes, it’s the same look you give me.” That look that said he would set the world ablaze to make the other smile. 

“It’s not that simple, I can’t adopt a child! I’m nearly sixty, what sixty year old in their right mind adopts a child?” Oswald sighed. 

“Who said you were in your right mind?” Ed jested, earning him an icy stare. 

“You’re handsome, but not funny. Plus, if I adopt that means you’ll be adopting too essentially. I can’t ask you to start a family-“ he paused, wanting to finish it with: especially not with someone like me. Oswald loved Ed, but he sometimes felt that Ed was missing out on a happy life with a wife and children. Ed hadn’t necessarily ever thought about a family, but he never thought his life would turn into him being madly in love with a man who was also his sugar daddy. 

“I’ve never thought about having a family, but who better to start one with than you?” He caressed Oswald’s hand. Oswald smiled, tears misting his eyes. He was honored that Ed felt that way, because he felt the same. 

So bright and early the next day, while Oswald slept, Ed headed to the orphanage to sign the papers on behalf of his partner. 

“I could tell that he fell in love with the baby at first sight,” the woman hummed as she handed Ed a pen. He looked over the paperwork. The baby boy was named Martin, his last name had been retracted. Two months old, vitals seemed normal. 

“I hope you two love him as we do here, he truly steals the hearts of everyone he meets.” She chuckled before heading to the nursery to retrieve the baby. Within the week Martin would be the worlds most spoiled baby, partially due to Oswald getting wine drunk and ordering every item he believed a baby would need and want. Ed had left early before picking up Martin to buy a carrier/car seat. Its not like he could hold a baby and drive. 

She brought the sleeping infant in the room. His tiny curls smooshed down by his hat and his body swaddled in a white blanket. Ed smiled at the sleeping boy. 

“He had a bottle about an hour ago so he shouldn’t be hungry for a few more hours. Also he might be fussy when he wakes up, but skin to skin contact generally calms him down.” She instructed. Ed nodded. She assisted him with putting Martin in the car seat before heading back inside. 

“We’re going to go home, hopefully Papa will be awake by now. He’ll be so pleased to see you,” Ed cooed to the sleeping boy as he started the car. He was a cautious driver, but even more so with this bundle of joy in the back. A normally ten minutes drive took nearly twenty, but he’d never hear the end of it if one hair on that babies head was harmed. 

Oswald was at the table eating his usual breakfast (oatmeal, one fried egg, some sort of fresh fruit, and coffee) when Ed entered. He was distracted by the morning paper, giving Ed the perfect opportunity to sneak behind him. 

“Eddie, I can smell your cologne. You can’t trick me.” Oswald chuckled. 

“Maybe our son will be able to some day,” those words made Oswald drop his newspaper and turn. 

“He’s asleep in the baby carrier, I didn’t want to fuss with him and take him out just yet.” Ed whispered as he led his partner to the living room, where Martin slept peacefully. Oswald was grinning ear to ear. 

“Martin Cobblepot, last name pending.” Ed commented. Oswald didn’t leave Martin’s side for hours, he was obsessed with every breath this tiny human took. Martin’s nose crinkled before he let out a tiny mewl and began crying. The sound brought tears to the mans eyes. Ed looked up from his book. 

“He sounds so helpless,” Oswald said as he took the crying baby out of the carrier and into his arms. Turns out all he wanted was to be held, to feel Oswald’s warm skin on his. 

“He’s just a baby, do you expect him to roar?” Ed chuckled, watching how natural the older male looked with the baby. 

“Well no, but he’s so tiny. I have guns that feel heavier than him.” Oswald responded. 

“I think he’s fascinated with your hair,” Ed stated, watching Martin’s tiny fingers bat at Oswald’s long locks. 

“Do you like my hair little one? Your dad likes it too.” He joked. Oswald eventually handed Martin over to Ed. Ed played with his little fingers and toes. Finally Ed had someone who seemed to enjoy hearing his riddles, he took the lack of crying as a sign of appreciation. An hour passed before either of the two noticed time had passed at all. 

“Oh Eddie, we have our first diaper to change.” Oswald sang. Only Oswald would be so excited to change a diaper. Though he himself hadn’t changed a diaper since his mother babysat for money in his youth, Oswald was certain Ed hadn’t changed one in his life. Martin fussed as Oswald unsnapped the buttons on his tiny onesie. 

“He’s making the same face you make when you’re annoyed.” Ed joked as he went to retrieve one of the diapers the orphanage supplied him with. 

“Ooh is someone annoyed? Don’t fret little one, dad is bringing you a diaper so you can have a clean butt.” Oswald reassured to the infant, who in his fussing had knocked his little hat off

“Goodness, someone sure is upset.” Ed said as he handed the diaper to Oswald. A diaper change and freedom from the onesie, Martin was content once again. He laid on his back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. Oswald went to check the mail. Ed knew Oswald had ordered a few things, but he didn’t expect the mountain of boxes that Oswald and several of his guards carried in. 

“Oswald, what is all this?” Ed asked. 

“We don’t have anything for a child...now we do.” Oswald shrugged. The three sat together and opened the boxes. Diapers upon diapers, the most dapper baby clothing, toys galore, and even a high chair! 

“You know he won’t do more than drool on these toys for a good while.” Ed informed.

Ed woke up to the sound of tiny wailing, only to find Oswald wasn’t in bed. He decided to go investigate, slipping his house slippers on and heading to the nursery. There he found a truly heartwarming sight. Oswald was sitting in a rocking chair, little Martin on his bare chest. Oswald’s pale belly rose and fell in time with Martin’s breathing, lulling the infant back to sleep. 

“He doesn’t seem to enjoy the crib, maybe the sheet is too itchy for him.” Oswald murmured to Ed. Ed made a mental note to find a less itchy baby bed sheet. 

“We can set up a little sleeping area for him in our bed together, we’ll just have to be mindful that there is a little one between us.” Ed responded. So Ed set up what he deemed to be a baby nest in between their sleeping spots. Oswald rested the child in the nest, and watched nervously as Martin’s eyelids fluttered open. He squirmed a bit but then shut his eyes again once he noticed both Oswald and Ed were present. Oswald removed the ribbon from his long locks and they cascaded over his shoulders. 

“Eddie?” He yawned.

“Yes?” Ed asked, slipping into bed. 

“If he needs a diaper change, that’s on you. I’m not getting out of this bed until the morning.” That wasn’t a joke either, Oswald was dead set on sleeping. Ed slept for a few hours until he heard the tiny whining noise. His eyes fluttered open and and he took the baby into his arms, resting him on his bare chest. 

“Shhh, it’s alright. I’m not sure why you’re crying, though with infants it’s usually for food, attention, or maybe you’re in need of a fresh diaper. Papa would be better at knowing what you need, but he’s asleep.“ he paused, pointing at the sleeping man beside them. Martin turned his head a bit to see the older man. But he continued to fuss, so the two headed back to the nursery for Ed to change his first squishy diaper. The concept of diaper changing, while not the most appealing, was more simple than Ed had anticipated. He hummed a song while applied a light dusting of powder to the baby’s bottom, causing Martin to sneeze. Ed let out a soft laugh. 

Oswald was a man who liked to sleep in, but Martin didn’t play by anybody’s rules but his own. Bright and early at five in the morning Martin let out the most pitiful sounding cry, immediately waking Oswald up. 

“What’s the matter?” He yawned as he picked their son up and checked his diaper. It was dry, so that was good. Oswald decided to try a bottle, so they headed downstairs to the kitchen. Baby on his aging hip, he prepared a bottle. They sat on the couch together while Martin contently sucked down the fluid. 

“Hungry, just like a growing boy should be. My mother used to tell me that, she would adore you.” Oswald conversed. After breakfast, it was time to get dressed. Oswald would be a liar if he said that he wasn’t absolutely thrilled to pick Martin’s first outfit. There were a few options, all equally adorable. He settled on a tiny pair of khakis and a onesie that looked like a button up shirt. 

“Now you look like a tiny Ed, just need glasses. Although he doesn’t wear his hair so curly, and that’s fine. Now I can play with your curls,” For Martin to genuinely smile was highly unlikely, but Oswald took his upturned lips as a compliment. 

Ed made his way downstairs a few hours later. He made himself some coffee before heading into the living room, where Oswald was shaking a rattle and watching Martin’s eyes search for the object making the noise. Ed sat beside them.

“I’m a big fan of this outfit you’ve chosen, he looks very smart.” He commented.

“I’m glad you think so. He is quite smart, he’s identified where both the rattle sound and the sound of my voice were coming from. Do you have anything planned today my dear?” Oswald asked. 

“Just lunch with some old college friends, then I may go look around for some books for Martin. Never too early to develop a love of books,” Ed leaned in for a kiss, and received a kiss and two crisp hundred dollar bills. 

“Bring me home a treat, and I don’t just mean you.” Oswald murmured. They kissed a few more times and shared a chuckle when Martin cooed, as if in response to their love. 

After lunch with his old friends, Ed ran into an old frienemy of Oswald’s. 

“What brings you to this side of town? And without Pengy. Didn’t know he let you off your leash.” She chuckled. Barbara Kean, even in her early sixties, was as feisty as she had been decades earlier. 

“I’m just looking around, comparing baby formulas. I had no clue there were so many.” He informed. 

“I knew Pengy was getting older, but I didn’t know he couldn’t have solid foods.” She joked, but Ed didn’t seem to find it funny.

“It’s for our son, the orphanage sent some formula along with him but I don’t trust that it’s the best for him.”

“Son? You two adopted?”

“Yes,” though he’d regret answering the question, as Barbara hopped in her car and headed for the manor. She repeatedly knocked on the door until Oswald answered. 

“Hello Barbara what a...let’s say pleasant surprise. What brings you here?” Oswald inquired. A loud cry told Barbara all she needed to know, pushing past Oswald to see for herself. Oswald followed her, harping the entire time about how rude it was to barge in. 

“He wasn’t kidding, you two have a kid. Are you crazy?” 

“Well that wasn’t the congratulations I was expecting. Wh-“

“You must be insane, thirty years dealing in Gotham’s underworld and you think having a child with your sugar baby is a good idea?”

“He’s not just m-“

“Spare me the romance novel, the facts are that he is a man who you paid to love you and now you’ve bought a child. God what’s next? Paying someone to piss for you? You probably have that in the works.” 

Oswald tightened his grip on his cane, trying his best not to scream in front of the baby. 

“If you do not leave-“ he whispered though his teeth “-then they’ll have to haul you out in a body bag.” 

Barbara picked the baby up and caressed his cheek. 

“Now Pengy, you wouldn’t hurt me when I’m holding your son now would you?”

She shushed the baby, who could not recognize strangers from friends so he rested his head on her shoulder. A milky white spit up fell from Martin’s tiny lips and Barbara immediately sat him on the couch. When she looked away from the drying stain, her face was met with a hard slap from Oswald’s hand. He retrieved Martin and glared at her.

“How unfortunate, I guess you better run home before the stain sets in. Lovely as always to see you Babs.” He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Barbara stormed out and Ed arrived home moments later. Oswald wiped the spit up from Martin’s mouth before the infant promptly stuck his fist into his mouth. 

“I’m home my dear, you wont guess who I ran into today. It was the weirdest thing-“

“Let me guess, Barbara Kean?”

“How did yo- oh no, did she come here? I should’ve realized that’s where she was heading. Are you two alright?” 

Oswald handed Martin over to Ed and kissed him on the cheek. 

“We are fine, Martin spit up on her and I slapped her in her pompous face. Now what did you bring me to eat?”

After some steak tacos for the adults and a diaper change for the baby, Ed laid out a blanket on the floor. He sat Martin on the blanket belly down, then laid on the floor across from him. Martin quickly grew tired of tummy time and let out a loud cry. Oswald stood to soothe the baby, but Ed quickly snatched him up. 

“It’s okay, I guess that was stressful for you. We can try again tomorrow, you’ve had a big day. You got a new outfit, and you spit up on a wicked lady. I say that earns you some time out of your clothing prison.” 

Oswald undressed the baby while Ed held him, trying to keep him from squirming. 

“His body is soft and squishy, like yours Papa Bird.” Ed joked. 

“Just be glad I don’t wear a diaper.” Oswald quipped back. Ed sat on the ground and scattered a few toys on the floor for Martin to see. He seemed most interested in the fuzzy hedgehog rattle, and tried to grab it when Ed shook it. Oswald sat back and watched his boys play together. 

Four months went fast, and Martin was growing like a weed. He loved music and his two dads. One thing he didn’t love was the mushed veggies Ed was trying to feed him. The green paste was smeared over the infants face and Ed was noticeably agitated.

“Martin Cobblepot, it’s not that bad.” He sighed as Oswald entered the room, stirring his mug of tea. He dipped his pinky into the jar. 

“Daddy said it’s not that bad-“ Oswald licked his pinky and immediately grimaced. There was no hiding the expression as Martin was staring straight at the older male. “-and it’s not, it’s worse. Eddie why can’t we just give him some banana or applesauce? They’re healthy.”

“Just because it has a fruit doesn’t mean it’s not packed with sugar. He liked it yesterday,” Ed argued. Oswald rolled his eyes. 

“I swear you’re as testy as him,” he muttered. Ed pinched his partners round ass. Oswald turned around and planted a kiss on the younger mans lips. Martin giggled. 

“Mama is so silly, isn’t that right?” Ed chuckled.

Oswald had taken a shine to being Papa to Ed and Mama to Martin. The older male took some leftover rice cereal from the morning and mixed the mashed peas in with it before spooning the mixture into Martin’s mouth. 

“Once you can start eating real food, you’ll be much happier. Daddy is an excellent chef, although I’m sure you can tell by his work with rice cereal.” 

“Speaking or cooking, what do you want for dinner Papa? We’re kind of running low on groceries, but there’s that nice restaurant down the road. They shouldn’t be too busy at this hour, I’ll get his shoes.” Ed suggested, knowing Oswald hadn’t gone farther than the sidewalk since Martin came home. He conducted all business over the phone and in the manor. Ed could tell that he was uneasy about leaving with the baby, and he understood; Gotham was a dangerous place. But it’s not like Martin could spend forever in the manor. 

“Be sure to grab his coat and hat too, I read it’s supposed to be chilly.” Oswald replied hesitantly. 

The three were the most well dressed trio in Gotham. Ed, in a lovely emerald green suit and bowler hat. Oswald, in a black suit with purple accents and his notorious penguin cane; and who could forget baby Martin? Dressed in the finest baby fur coat, a onesie that simply read “my dads are better than you”, and a messenger cap. They got a table towards the back of the restaurant, Oswald ordered a glass of wine while Martin happily played with a spoon. When Oswald downed the first glass and ordered another, it was clear to Ed that his partner was taking his anxieties out on a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon. But if it made him relax, Ed was fine with it. 

“Ma.” Martin babbled. Oswald sat his glass down. 

“Did you jus- Eddie did you hear him!” Oswald exclaimed. Ed knew that there was no emotional association between the noises Martin was making and his love for Oswald, but the man needed a win. His last two business exchanges went south and he was feeling uneasy, so Ed smiled and nodded. 

“Ma!” Martin giggled, and Oswald was practically giddy. Ed wasn’t sure he had ever seen him so excited, the sight truly warmed his heart.

“That’s right Martin, I’m Mama. You’re such a sweet boy, mama and daddy’s smart and sweet boy.” Oswald cooed. 

For dinner Oswald had a steak and roasted potatoes, Ed had a pork chop and risotto, and Martin played with an ice cube in a plastic cup. Their dinner was uninterrupted until an old friend stopped by their table. 

“Heard you two adopted,” the one and only Jim Gordon stated. Martin was drawn to his mustache, he had never seen facial hair like that and was intrigued. The infant reached out to touch it, and Ed guided his hand away. 

“Yes, we did. Are you going to try to arrest him for association?” Ed deadpanned. Jim rolled his eyes before crouching down beside Martin’s high chair. 

“Hello there, I’m Jim. Your dads aren’t the fondest of me, and I’m not the fondest of them. That being said, you couldn’t ask for two better people to raise you in this crazy town. They’ll protect you through it all kid.” To which his sentiment was met with a tiny finger touching his mustache. Oswald nearly fell out of his chair, his round belly jostling as he laughed. Jim wasn’t quite sure what to do as Martin kept the single digit on his face. Ed was interesting to see just how long this would go on. 

A couple days later, the couple received a GCPD onesie in the mail; which Ed promptly used fabric markers to cross out the P and replace it with a question mark. 

By twelve months, Martin was the poster child for the perfect baby. Curly locks and rosey cheeks, he was pretty stable on his feet and was very opinionated. His favorite word was no and he wasn’t shy to tell Ed that word several times a day, though he usually seemed to avoid saying it to Oswald. But that didn’t mean Martin never did, like when Oswald caught him attempting to scale the kitchen cabinets. 

“Martin, get down from there.” Oswald said as he entered the room. 

“No!” Martin replied. Oswald’s eyes widened. He wondered where he learned such an attitude as he scooped up the child and sat him on the cabinet. 

“I don’t appreciate the attitude mister,” He informed, to which Martin pushed a cup off of the cabinet with his foot. Had Ed not conveniently been entering the room, there would be a small pile of broken glass at Oswald’s feet. The child could tell he had done something wrong by his parents upset faces. 

“Dada?” 

Ed’s expression softened. 

“Ozzie, you take the legs. I’ll take the arms, we’ll meet at the bellybutton.” 

The two began tickling and kissing Martin’s limbs. The room filled with exaggerated kissing noises and Martin’s squeaky laughter. They met in the middle, planting kisses on his bare belly until their lips met and they shared a kiss. No family was perfect, but Oswald was certain that his family was pretty damn close.


End file.
